One slice of the Feelings Wheel

I think many of us have had a really hard week. I am having a hard time showing up for life lately. Maybe it's the online conversations with people in my social sphere being overtly racist or trying to navigate how family voting practices run contrary to equal civil rights for me and others -- or maybe it's SAD. Just kidding! It's totally the racists and lack of regard for equal civil rights or safety. 

A few situations have brought the violence too close to home. We're NYC. Violence against folks that are being "othered" has always happened here, just less so than other places. Like most others areas we're seeing a spike post-election. But I am most afraid for "othered" people in less liberal areas.  Queer friends who the day before election had their car trashed with candidate signs and garbage to send a message (swing state!). And much worse. (You have the internet for that.) Then, there are the cabinet appointments. A collective track record of xenophobia, pro-life, anti-queer stuff. The term of W seems downright quaint these days. 

One day in, I protest rallied for visibility. Four days in, I dropped the online conversations about racism, xenophobia, fear and common ground that were going nowhere despite my best efforts using all the regular old tools of mediation and mirroring and trying to find commonality. I think both sides of the conversation felt like we were trying but to no avail. I gave up on some social media platforms. I watched a family member on the "other side" do the same because of the level of vitriol on both sides. And checked out. Meaning, still present and watching out for others when I'm out (and having semi-awkward conversations with my chiropractor about the purpose of protests) but really retreating inward as much as possible. Many episodes of Call the Midwife were watched. And regularly scheduled stuff still happened. A second sewing lesson was had. Cats went to the vet. I finally subscribed to the NYTimes (okay, that one is election-related).

It's been a challenge to identify feelings other than anger, sadness, despondency, depression, anxiety, etc but eventually things like gratitude (NYC, Brooklyn, friends, fighters, my health) and determination seeped back in. Slowly. 

{feelings wheel by Dr. Gloria Wilcox}

This week I'm just staying on top of self-care and high level news developments. And thinking about how I can and will use my energy moving forward. And doing my best to keep my side of the street clean. No matter how bitter I get. 

I am sure I'll be around in a bit. But for now.

Peace out, dudes. Please take care of yourself...and anyone else if you have the means.


  1. Where are we going, and what are we doing in this handbasket?

    "The term of W seems downright quaint these days."

    Agreed! I remember thinking that the "he's not MY president!" were being melodramatic back in the day, but when I imagine Donald Trump all I can think is, that is not my president. Hell no.

    In cheerier news, I've never seen lefties so passionate and ready to take action.

    "Call the Midwife" is a great escape, isn't it? It always makes me wish I were a nurse, right up until the inevitable scenes of women giving birth. (I almost typed "child labor," which was close but wrong.)

    Let the record state that I am a total Jesse.Anne.O fangirl. I've surely read your entire blog three times, and it's been both a great treat and a boon to my conscience. Blogging can be tedious, and I thank you for all the hours you've spent typing, editing, finding images, and sharing your knowledge and tastes. Be good to yourself.


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