11.16.2015

F/W Season (of Discontent)

It's mid-November. Leaves turn the color of Tang and Kool-Aid and then just brown and gone. I hate the early darkness. The pull towards blankets and slippers and tea and chocolate is strong. If I can't hibernate, I will be displeased. (So, mostly, I'm displeased.)



As with times of displeasure, I want. I want a lot of stuff. A parka. Some stupid warm cozy vegan fake Uggs for when I inevitably stop caring about looks this winter. Dress after dress. Necklaces. Sneakers. Sandals for next summer. And frankly, I've already overspent plenty. And none of this is going to make me love fall or winter or fix the issues I'm dealing with right now.

But it's very hard to get back on the right track. To find gratitude in nature when all you see is dying and death and pain and hurt, both seasonally and with the world at large. It's hard to find faith in the equilibrium of the world and in Mr. Rogers posthumously advising you to look for the people who are helping. And sometimes it's hard to know how to help. Especially when I want to cocoon and be a misathrope (misandrist?). There is something about the winter that really takes the "helper" out of me. It doesn't take my empathy - which I have in spades. But the ability to show up and participate and to feel connected and grateful.

You can see why a new parka, left unexamined, would seem like an easier fix, right? But it's not. And so I have to figure out how to reconnect -- against biology and brain chemistry and all that can downward spiral. That's what the fix is. Hugs. People. Cats. Warmth. Soup. Candles. The power in people who are good. That's what's actually important.

6 comments:

  1. No wisdom here, but I feel for you. The dark seasons can be rough, and hot chocolate and mood lamps can't fix everything.

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  2. I hear you. (Mrs. Jaunty sent me here long ago and I have not commented, but have been following along on a similar journey of adjusting my impact and intentions.) On the want - editing down my Rodales shopping cart as we speak - and the warmth. I cannot keep pets, but have a small army of stuffed animals and have been playing Neko Atsume like it's my job, and those things are easier than trying to connect with people, who are of course more reactionary. But I need people, and hugs, and to stay plugged into powerful movements. It is hard.

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    1. Hello and welcome, Angela! Agreed - I find this season challenging in terms of self-care and I am always impressed by how little I pick up good habits in this area. It's absurd that it's not more intuitive for some of us.

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  3. I HATE warm weather clothes. I love to be comfortable in light cotton cover-ups not swathed entirely in itchy fabric. But I've noticed the same thing about consumerism and change of season. The season change is one of the few times I'll buy something new: pumpkins just for decor, a string of christmas lights or a garland, new tights because my old ones are super pilly and covered in cat hair that won't dislodge ittself. It's something to take advantage of as a small business shop owner, though.

    And the short days make me super sad, too, less daylight for taking product photos! BUT on rare occasion when the chill is in the air and not TOO painful I feel a sense of clean renewal and gratefulness for surviving to live through another season.

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    Replies
    1. Okay, I totally identified with this one -- "new tights because my old ones are super pilly and covered in cat hair that won't dislodge itself"

      I agree that once I get get myself outside (early), I'm usually much better off. And true - it's definitely a good time to support small businesses if you're buying anyway!

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