12.13.2010

7 Things About Me - The Stupid School Years Version

I was tagged by Jen @ Pretty in PDX for a 7 Things (About Me) post, which I will then pass on to 7 other bloggers, if they chose to carry on the mission. I empathize with her #3 and laughed (with concern) at her #4. You will just have to read them - I'm not explaining any more.

I tried not to repeat any of the 10 Things from the Sugar Doll list.

1) Until I was in high school I thought the name of my nursery school was Magic Ears. I never questioned it; we sang a lot so okay, whatevs. Until high school when I was talking to someone who'd attended the same nursery school. And he said, "When we were in Magic Years, we..." and I said, "I'm sorry, what did you just call our old school?" "Magic Years." "Oh." "Why?" "No reason." I had been referring to our school - in public - as Magic Ears! For a decade. Then I went home and harassed my mother for letting me call it Magic Ears for so long. (She had no idea I'd been calling it Magic Ears, though, because it sounded so much like the correct name.)

jesse o recital


2) I almost failed gym class any number of years (middle school to high school) because I hated it and would get out of participating by any means necessary. One method was assigning whichever jock was near me to "my jurisdiction" meaning if the ball came near us I'd step out of the way and they could be a hero.

3) During dodge ball I'd just mill along the sidelines talking to people but that backfired horribly in 6th grade. The person I was talking to got tagged out and I looked up to find that it was just me and my 6th grade crush left. Now I was tasked with holding onto a ball someone rolled to me and either a) attempting to tag him out, then be tagged out (in the most attractive manner possible) or b) wait to be tagged out (in the most attractive manner possible). Dodgeball is not an attractive game so most of those options (aside from the inevitability of being tagged out) were a one-way road to big fail. (I went for a.)

4) Another general avoidance tactic was pretending to be ill. Once, when we were sharing the gym with the senior class in high school (including my crush, a punk drummer) my sadistic gym teacher decided to make us do team relay races. Which consisted of laying on scooters and "swimming" across the floor, jumping jacks, etc. Basically any undignified motion. A clear case for feigning illness, right? Not when it results in them rolling in a wheelchair while the whole gym class stops what it's doing to watch the nurse hoist you in. And strap in your arms and legs lest you fall out, wheeling you through the halls while classes are changing, asking you things about whether you're men-stru-aye-ting or if there is any possibility you could be pregnant. Another big fail.

5) We weren't allowed to pick what we wanted to do in gym class; we just had to do whatever they gave us for that day. Softball was one of my least favorites (outside! having to swing thrice! running!) until I learned a way around it. I would swing down. That's right - I would swing the bat in the way most successful to avoid contact with a ball. This infuriated my gym teacher and he asked why I always seemed to be swinging away from the ball. "Well, if I hit the ball, then I have to run and pay attention. If I don't hit the ball, I can go sit down on the bleachers again and talk to my friends." o_0 faces ensued. Win!

jesseo easter


6) In order to not fail gym, I'd have to do "make-up" gym class, which was held the same time as detention after school but consisted of calisthenics and laps around the smaller gym room. I didn't mind this nearly as much because I was with a bunch of other gym-haters and no one was trying to be good at calisthenics or laps.

7) In middle school we had a mandatory art project - a fire prevention poster for a school-wide contest. I asked to work on my regular art project instead, which I liked, but I was told I had to do the poster. My horrible witch classmate said, "Jesse, why are you always complaining? Why can't you do the fire prevention poster like the rest of us and just be happy." The poster parameters were that you could only use 4 colors. I used every color available to me for spite (at least 7 colors) and handed in my poster, hoping to be immediately disqualified. Take that, traitor art class! You didn't say I had to do your poster the right way! I won. And by that I mean I won the poster contest. I had to go to an award ceremony. I had my picture in the local paper.


And now, if you are willing, the following ladies are tagged:

1) Rad @ Cohabitating Closet
2) Blackbird Attic
3) Northwest is Best
4) K @ Pineapple Mint Vintage
5) No Signposts in the Sea
6) Commonwealth Girl
7) Remember Cats

La Fille was already tagged in Jen's post otherwise she would have been on my list too!

6 comments:

  1. HEHE OH MAN OH MAN -I LUV these gym class schene stories - as a school years gym hater myself I know the lengths one had to go to to avoid it all. I mean really Dodgeball? That's gotta be some kind of torture right? Hey kids throw balls at each other and then later in highschool -he insecure adolescents go take showers all in a room together?
    Huh? cruel cruel cruel things happen/happened? in gym. Now a days kids have yoga classes or they can choose what phys ed they want to do ( at least some the schools i know of do )lucky ducks.

    Dude - I would have tagged you too- but you were already tagged : )

    I also really dig that ruffled fuschia dress -

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  2. It's such a relief to know that other people hated PE (as we call it here in the UK) as much as I did. At the school I went to, the boys played football and the girls played netball. And I hated it! So much. When I left school I vowed that my days of sport were over, so it surprised me to discover how much I love cycling.

    Thanks for tagging me, La Fille also tagged me so I'll get on with it this week!

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  3. Those pictures of you are the cutest. Thanks for sharing. And tagging.
    I hated gym, but I had the advantage of being tall for my age in a NJ town that wasn't very tall, so I had some physical advantages. This was my basketball and volleyball strategy, but I am still scared of flying, spherical objects (I think that's a basic, human instinct thing).
    Luckily, we're all too old and cool to be bothered with this sort of thing anymore.

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  4. I hated gym too, oddly now I love playing most sports except volleyball. I was totally always standing in the corner, screaming if a dodgeball came near me and refusing to throw them. I was the most popular kid in class when we did gymnastics though because I was a gymnast and super tiny and there were all these two person skills we could do for points (really? Lay on the ground and hoist a person up on your feet while they splay out like an airplane? OK?)

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  5. Ah, I'm glad to be in good company, ladies.

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  6. 3. I'm gonna jump in here kind of late and say that I also had to try to tag out my crush and I ended up throwing the game to avoid having to do so. This was in third grade? I think? And then my team booed me and I cried. Gym class = THE WORST. And then there was the time my class was running out to the baseball field and it had rained the night before and I slid on my butt through the mud up to the pitchers mound. I pretended I did it on purpose. Good times.
    Super adorbs pics!!

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